She <- insert sad face here.

She sits here,

She is alone,
Her hair is wet and it needs a comb.
She is tired,
the mirror told her it saw the bags under her eyes.
she was up reading
she didn't care about the time.

She woke up quiet
trying to remember her dream,
something about china
or so it would seem.


she skips breakfast,
reading some more,
then crawls to the computer
and turns facebook on.
1 notification,
not even about her.
1 person is on,
oh wait not anymore.



Her father and mother and brothers are gone,
what shall she do
the day is so long.
so she starts writing her book,
chapter 17.
where she talks to a boy
with messy black hair,
and lavender eyes,
all mysterious and dancing,
wait he said something,
now they are laughing.


as she clicks the 'save' and then the 'x'
she thinks about what to do now,
oh wait the phone starts to ring.
it is only her mother just checking on things
She tells her to clean,
with a big big please.
so she starts cleaning the kitchen
sighing away then the floors she is sweeping
sweeping away.

she watches some TV,
then switches it off,
then goes and has a shower,
to clean herself up.



later she starts singing
as loud as she can,
there is no one to stop her or tell her she's bad.
She sings letting her emotions run wild.
then stops looks out the window,
and sighs feeling bad.

so back to the computer she totters away
hoping there would be someone there to 'make her day'
but alas no one is on,
great yippee
so she reads some blogs,
and starts to fell weird.
a familiar sadness is back,

Oh no.
So now she sits here
writing this poem,
and inside is a sadness
that she has always known.

don't worry there no tears
it is all inside,
there is no rain falling from her eyes,
again she looks out the window,
out into the sun.
wishing for that world
where she can Escape and Run...

I saw him in my dreams

I saw him in my dreams,
as my eyelids fell shut,
and i stepped into a world,
a world i didn't trust.

A stranger in this world i was,
as i walked through the darkness,
crying out so hopefully,
for a light within the darkness.

Then, as the forest cleared,
and i saw the moon in full,
there standing on the hilltop,
was a boy, with eyes as bright as the stars above.

I then gasped in the cool night air,
and my legs began to shake,
as the boy smiled down to me,
his hand outstretched for me to take.

I stumbled forward, carelessly,
it didn't matter where i was,
because the boy was standing there,
ready to catch me as i fell.

He took my hand and held it,
as we both fell to the ground,
then he hugged me tight,
as if protecting me from his world.

I looked at our hands together creating a soft yellow glow,
then turned my gaze to him,
and whispered
'Please never let go.'

Then tears began to fall down my cheeks,
as he turned to me and replied,
with three words that had me crying for weeks, the words
'I love you.'

Then suddenly i was torn from him,
as the darkness flooded around me,
and i was pulled back into the cruel world,
called reality.

Yes i saw him in my dreams that night,
the tears still sting my eyes,
and my heart will never heal,
because this world is full of lies.

Dream Journal: Is this my world?

16/12/09

I ran along the path, the rundown mansion in front of me, shining through the dark sky. I didn't who or what I was running from I just had to run. Have I been here before? I thought I had, but it was soon shaken from me, as I was picked up by someone with inhuman speed he turned me too him and I saw his face. Do I know him? No I don't know him I had never seen him before in my life. Suddenly like a dream I looked up and there was no longer any mansion, but the dead end of an alley way. I turned but not quick enough and was struck by this force, this person. I felt the pain and was about to be stuck and again when a person appeared in front of me his arms outstretched blocking the force from reaching me, soon other joined him, and the force was driven back disappearing into the darkness. Then the original person tuned and looked down to me, his bright eyes shining through the darkness.
"Ally. Are you okay?" Ally…was that my name. I thought, now taking his hand. It must be because he had said it. He helped me up, then I pulled my hand away. Because he said it?! I don't even know who he is. I looked around at all the faces staring at me, then the boy nodded to the person next to him and my world went black…

I woke, looked at where I saw and sighed. It had been three weeks since Blake and the others had found me, and brought me to that mansion. The girl next to me got up and smiled, "I wonder what pain staking thing we will have to do today." The girl, Holly had become my best friend since I had come here, and she too felt like this world was not her own, it seemed to perfect, to wonderful, to beautiful.

We walked out onto the destroyed courtyard chunks of rubble and plants lay everywhere across this ground. I looked around at the place which once would have been a magnificent place, now, the only safe place for us to hide. I looked around at the group I had become a part of it consisted of six members, there was the leader Blake, Sasha, Alexis the snobby rich girl who thought she had claimed Blake as her own, Aaron who had some strange disease, and holly and myself. I walked over to Blake as there was a concerned look on his face, and he told everyone something we didn't want to heard.
"they are coming…" everyone gasped, as he pointed to Aaron who had started to fade, with his disease, a disease where, whenever he was about to be taken over by the saros, then her would disappear. "don't worry I have a plan…."
We spent most of the day listening to what he had to say, and soon the plan was put into action, we had to climb up to the top of the mansion, to a place where we would get ready for an attack. Where we would set up a trap, for that person and his soldiers. And so I stood at the bottom of the net that had been made by the fallen wires, pipes and rubble from when the first attack had occurred. I watched as my friends climbed up the net with skilled and speed. I sigh and started to climb, but I was now where as good as they all were and soon my fear had gotten the best of me and I started to shake, then my foot slipped, but instead of screaming and getting all embarrassed I just gripped the net as hard as I could and started to shake frozen in fear. The suddenly someone appeared beside me, it was Blake. He slowly edged my hand from the net and put it in his own. "its okay." He said softly, and then he told me to hold his wrist and we climbed to the top together. I couldn't help seeing Alexis glare at me as we reached the top, where I was greeted by holly smiling and comforting face. Next we were told to take one of the boxes that had been dragged up the net in a sack and set what looked to be like small bombs up around the top courtyard, which according to Blake would be our new home for a little while. Once all the bombs were set up, we were each given a gun, and told to try and relax, as if that would happen. All the time strange things were giong through my mind. This has happened before, has it, how do I know…why do I feel like history is repeating itself. Then a strange thought came over my mind and I turned to holly. " I would want to buy this anime series." Then she gave me a puzzled look, then a nod and I again felt that this was not my place. Then Blake came over and stood in the middle of everyone.

"I believe they will not get us….don't worry you are all safe."
I felt something inside me, fear well up and threaten to come out as tears, I sat by myself, just staring at the ground for a while after that, when I felt a tap from beside me and turned to see Aaron disappear.
Shocked and afriad I walked over to where Blake was standing, passing the turning heads as i pushed past my friends,fell into blakes arms and said. "I don’t' feel very safe anymore…"