Train trip.

When you are on a train its a game of chance. Either you get the seat or you don't its as simple as that.
Sometimes you might have the odd good deed and lend you seat to a pregnent woman or an old person, but for the most part, its 'this is my seat and no body elses'
There is not much to do on a train. Idley listen to the randoms convetstaions or stare blankly into the distance as you watch the people sway as the train move.
Sure you might listen to music or read a book, but sometimes it is just nice to sit and stare.
Most modes of transport are conversation hotspots, but on a train it is mostly silent even though the train sounds are quite loud.
I couldn't see my self as the person who takes the train everyday. But it is nice everynow and then.
A different kind of trip, one where you don't truly know where you are going, an adventure.

Web cam makes me insane

Excuse me, can i have my own Mr Nomiya...please.

Little things

I love those who are close to me more than words can describe. They are what keeps me striving towards my goals. Its nice to have people that watch over you, and i am so glad to have all the friends that do. everyone makes me feel special in there own way.

Mariah:

When can i begin to describe my love for this girl. My bestest Friend in the whole wide world. Nothing is awkward between us and we can read each other's eyes to know what we are thinking. We make up stories together about romance that is so unrealistic it hurts. Most people are best friends because they have been friends for years, but the strange thing about me and Mariah is that we have only been really close friends for about 3 and a half years. I will never forget when she told me to get over my crush and 'find a new one' because she was bores with it. The funny thing is i could go on all night about this girl, but i won't. :P

Holly:

Normal people have one best friend, but i am greedy and was lucky enough to have two. My Horreh. You make me feel so alive, you are always there when i need you. You are my little bit of crazy sunshine that i cherish. I still remember my feeling before you came over on that first anime night. Our friendship had just begun to peak, but i still felt alittle unsure of how you would take the at home me. But as soon as we got settled in how i thought i was so blessed to have you and Maraih as my girls. The Chans, forever and always no matter where we all are.

Xanthe:

My littleXanthe grass tree. We met in grade 4 and have been fiends since. i remember we were both the new girls. i am so glad that over the years we have grown so close. I still remember my Star Wars party, you came as a bald guy and painted a swimming cap. How i am so found of the memory. All  the parties, the Dramas, the costumes, the Mulan. You always make me smile. I am so glad to have met you. <3

Also 'What the hell is a hufflepuff!' :P

Kyra:

My little blogger girl. You are always the one to write such heart felt comments that really can lift a person's spirit. I am so happy to have gotten to know you this past year and a half and it was great to spend my senior school years with such a happy face. Double sleepovers, pizza, oh how much fun we have.

I how we can always stay friends.

thanks you for everything.

Will:

Oh yes my dear William, how you make me laugh and smile. You are definitely my closet male friend and i  am so glad. For all the Laughter, the inside jokes, the fact that you put up with my constant babbling with our chocolate bar world.

You cheer me on even though i no you are annoyed by it.

Can't wait till you crash my wedding.

*Evil laughs*

Thank you Will.

It was like my whole house had turned against me. Each one of them with eyes had locked onto me. Thier mission to make me feel as outcast and bad as possable. It was like something out of an alien war movie.

It was like 'hey lets destroy her soul. Make her feel like the bad guy.'

I sat their cheeks wet with constant tears i could not control, crying out to God to help me make the right choice.
They were guilt tripping me.
'Guilt guilt guilt'
Was screaming inside my, head
They made me feel like the bad guy, by saying i made them feel like the bad guys.

I wanted God to just carry me away. Please, make this the right choice

I try so hard and even now as i hear them talking about me, tHe disgust in thier voices.

Whatever i do, someone will be disappointed.

I am trying my best to be what u want me to be, so please just leave me alone with my friends and my God.

You're gonna catch a cold,
from the ice inside your soul.

Book 2: Chapter 1 complete.
I feel like i am making progress,
of all kinds...
progress is good.
I like progress.

Moments

It's moments like these that i am scared to lose.

Head aching.
Assignment title needed.
I think i am getting sick again.
:(

Such beauty is tragic

They fall at a speed of five centimeters per second...like snowflakes.

I aways find it hard to push myself.
Everything is a battle.
I try but my mum just doesn't understand that i am not a studier. i just can't study for very long. I get to distracted. Curse you Creative mind.
My mum loves me and i love her, but she keeps pressuring me about the future, but i just don't know. Well that's a lie, i do know what i want to do, but it's not good enough. It's not a stable career...apparently.
I want to write, stories, novels, my whole life, i just want to write. I want to write, fall in love, get married, have kids, and live my life.
God gave me this gift and i love it so much, i feel like he is going to use me through my stories, i don't know how, but i feel as if he will.

So here i am rambling about my future all because i am studying for exams, for subjects i will probably never use.
I want to write, and perform plays, to write plays, to be in musicals.
SIGH.
I am trying to study hard to make mum happy. i am trying.

I finally watched 5 centimeters per second last night.
It was beautifully tragic.
It made me think alot, as i found one of the characters a lot like me, and my situation with love.
She made a hard decision, one that i haven't decided yet.
She cried in her bed, i do that.



These are not good muffins mum!

One day they wrote a play.

They were excited.

but it died.

I want it to come back to life.

Long  live the Mordes.



We stay because Anatevka is our home...

Its crazy how something can have so much work go into it and then, like a flash, be done, forever.
This musical made me feel so alive.
I was looking at other posts by my friends on the same topic, and it got me a little teary. like them i am scared to lose the forged or grown friendships that have come to be because of this production. It saddens me and i don't no how to cope.

I found myself a little freaked out, a little worried. What was i to do now, i started to panic.
 Tomorrow is Monday and for the whole of the year so far, that has meant musical practice.
Now however, i don't know what to do with my life.
How on earth am i suppose to do assignments and study, when i am so out of it.
I don't want to say goodbye to the Laughter, the Friends, the Songs, the family, the one liners.
I don't want to say good bye to Fiddler on the roof.

But i will have to.'

Dearest Fiddler now you are gone...and i don't know what to do with my life.

:(

I will miss you.